A good cry
Jun. 5th, 2025 07:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enujaI don't cry enough any more. When I was a child I cried all the time. I'm not sure exactly when that stopped: it was, I think, a gradual process over the years.
Last week, while I was suspended, upside down, in the air, at a public Rope Jam, a Cure song I hadn't listened to in a long time came on, and I started bawling.
One of the last coherent conversations I had with Charles was after the first time I was in a mermaid tie. It's been a year since he died, and the anniversary, along with the song, and my desperate desire for Charles to be alive, again, when I got rightside up again conspired to give me a very cathartic, excellent crying session.
But, since then, even listening to several songs which have caused me to bawl before, I haven't been able to make the tears flow. I have been able to feel sad, but not to get a good cry.
A lot of it seems to be surprise: the rope jam featured an 80s playlist, but I wasn't expecting that specific song. Maybe each Cure song provides me with one really good cry? If so, I'm very glad The Cure has a very extensive back catalog.
Last week, while I was suspended, upside down, in the air, at a public Rope Jam, a Cure song I hadn't listened to in a long time came on, and I started bawling.
One of the last coherent conversations I had with Charles was after the first time I was in a mermaid tie. It's been a year since he died, and the anniversary, along with the song, and my desperate desire for Charles to be alive, again, when I got rightside up again conspired to give me a very cathartic, excellent crying session.
But, since then, even listening to several songs which have caused me to bawl before, I haven't been able to make the tears flow. I have been able to feel sad, but not to get a good cry.
A lot of it seems to be surprise: the rope jam featured an 80s playlist, but I wasn't expecting that specific song. Maybe each Cure song provides me with one really good cry? If so, I'm very glad The Cure has a very extensive back catalog.
